I am trying not to be whiny these days, but I have had one royal week of screwups as a wife and mother.
Example number one . . .
I caught the couch on fire. Seriously. No I haven’t taken up smoking. I was having the carpets cleaned and I piled some of the living room stuff on the couches (footstools, lamps, etc.). The gentleman doing the carpets came to me and asked me if I had burned something. I said, “I burn things all of the time cooking, but I haven’t burned anything today!” I thought that the smell was from the cleaning process. I look around the house. I don’t see anything. I sit back down to keep working, and he comes back in and asks again. I get up and look around the house again. Suddenly I see smoke coming up from the couch. I run over to the couch and see the couch smoldering. The lamp I put on top of the couch had somehow been turned on (you turn it off and on at the wall). I yank it off and run for a cup of water. I pour water on the couch. Of course, we have that spill resistant couch cover on, so the water is not really penetrating the cloth. I finally get the water to soak in a bit. There is only a four inch circle where the lightbulb had touched the couch. I think how bad can it be? Then I think . . . how many stories have you heard how cigarettes smoldering for hours before they catch fire and burn your house down? I desperately try to call someone to ask for help. Dad. No answer. Chris. No answer. The fire dept. (Not really. I was too embarrassed.) So I decide to go ahead and pour another glass of water on the spot and then go to church. Luckily the house was still there when we got home, but when I went to check out the spot. The material broke under my touch and I was able to see the four inch deep hole of charred padding and other material. I nearly died. How lucky am I? Chris would say it is not luck but God’s blessings on us today. Well then . . . Thank you God, because I need it!!!! (By the way . . . when the gentleman who cleaned the carpets left the house, he gave me his business card and his flyer to describe how he will also come and clean after a house fire. I can’t tell if that was “haha” moment or if he was for real.)
Example number two . . .
Ainsley is still on a lactose free diet. So the school called on Friday and said that the hot lunch they were serving had cheese in it, so what did we want to do. I tell them to not let her eat it and to give her everything else and that I would take her to McDonalds afterwards to get a Happy Meal (there should be something good to come out of her diet). I pick her up from school. We go to Walmart to run errands and I get her a Happy Meal on the way out. She enjoys the meal. While waiting in line to pick up Ben and Madie from school, Ainlsey has an unfortunate accident. Poor thing. It is everywhere and there is nothing I can do about it. The kids are coming out to the cars and I can’t even begin to squeeze myself out of line. So I clean her up and she sits naked from the waist down while we pick everyone up. When I go to get her out of the car, there in her cup holder is the container of chocolate milk that I just GAVE HER! I gave her milk. I can’t believe I gave her milk. I work so hard to not let the school give her milk and then I give it to her. UGGGGHHH!
There are days when I feel like I am doing a pretty good job. But this week . . . has been a run of non-successful days. I call my sister to tell her about my milk mistake and she says, “it still isn’t as bad as you catching the couch on fire!” So in perspective at least I’ll have the rest of the year to compare my mistakes to the couch fire. There are not many things that can beat my couch fire incident. And I promise to not to actively try to beat it. I’ll just add it to my Lenten goal of peace and serenity with the children. I guess I could say that I still had both of these incidents and I didn’t raise my voice to my family. So there you go . . . I guess it has been a good week after all.
The Puddles 