The Puddles

Daddy came home.  (Insert big sigh here.)  Our world is better.  Our life is better.  I think that the sun may be shining brighter this morning.  The kids are definitely smiling bigger this morning.  They are so happy.  I am so much happier. His presence has made my burden lighter (and I am not talking about the work load).  I always have a new appreciation for single moms after my adventures with Chris away from home.  And I appreciate him so much more.  With Chris by my side I know that we can fight this next looming health issue with Ben with both barrels blazing.

It is time to get everyone off to school.  We are even on time this morning!  Even I am shocked.  I shouldn’t ruin this by hiding out in the office for much longer!!!!

A little time and some sleep can put some perspective on yesterday’s events.  I am done with being in shock that yesterday didn’t go the way I wanted it to. So we didn’t get the news that I would have liked.  It is not the end of the world.  We still have our BenBen.  We will face this new round of health issues with a smile and a strong faith that God will carry us through this.  So go ahead and BRING IT ON!  We will be ready!

delve into the depth of reality.

We are back from Ben’s visit to the cardiologist.  We are tired.  Ben and I both.  Emotionally exhausted from the day.  The results of the visit were good and bad.

The good first . . . There is still no sign of growth returning under the aortic valve, and the valve, although still leaking, has not increased significantly.  This is good.

The not so good . . . First. The area above the aortic valve has narrowed again.  During his last surgery the doctor widened the aorta by adding a Dacron patch. This area has started to narrow again.  Although still minor, it is not good that this has already started.  Second. Ben should not have high blood pressure this late past his surgery.  This is not usual for a patient with his condition.  So the doctor feels like something else may be going on.  She feels that we need to do further testing to find out why he has high blood pressure.  Most likely it could be that the same narrowing of the aorta could be happening to the arteries leading into his kidneys. So we will go in the next few months to have a doppler done of his kidneys and more lab work.  If that isn’t it, then he will go to the hypertensive clinic at Texas Children’s Hospital to try to figure out what is going on.  Hopefully we will find some answers.  We go back to see the doctor in six months  (but we will be talking to her about all of this testing between now and then).

I called and communicated all of this to Chris (who is still in Europe).  Not the best news to give over the phone.  Luckily I had my mom there to hear all that the doctor had to say and to just be there, so I wasn’t by myself on this visit.

I am still just completely numb.  I was really hoping for better news today.  But I guess it could have been worse. That is something to be grateful for.  I hate to be selfish and ask, but I think that Ben could use more prayers again.  I was hoping that we could let those prayers go for others who might need them, but Ben really could use some again.

Ben is at my office door and says he is “staaaarrrrrrving”  and that they are all “staaaaarrrrrrving.”  I guess they are all ready for some dinner.  Besides, it is getting too quiet in this office and my mind needs a break from all of the emotions that are churning right now.  My kids are a good solution for that problem.  They will certainly keep me busy, so much so that I won’t have time to think.

Today is Ben’s big appointment day at Texas Children’s with his “plumber” (a.k.a. cardiologist). I am so nervous and anxious. Ben is as cool as a cucumber. Today we find out if the valve repair is still holding and if the growth has come back. It is an all day trip usually, so we may be tired but I hope to give good news later about Ben. Prayers are very much needed today. Any and all are appreciated.

This has been an extremely busy day.  Two games and two parties plus some minor house repairs today.

Papa Lake drove over from Brenham to help deliver boy to baseball game and to make sure that Ben smiled for team photo (I forgot to tell him the smiley part. I only asked him to make sure that his photo got taken. I have to work better on my communication skills). Ainsley and I took Madie to her soccer game only to find out that we were early by an hour.  Of course, I say it is better to mess up the start time by being too early than too late.  So . . . go me!     The day continued down its busy path until we delivered Madie to her birthday/slumber party tonight an hour late.  I put S— Ln. instead of Blvd. into my Tomtom and wound up 30 miles south of where I was suppose to be.  Darn the luck.

The good news is that Papa helped with some house repairs that needed more immediate attention and attempted to fix my kitchen light (which, since this morning, quit working at all.  But he did get the cover off!).   This is all very mundane.  Which is good.  Mundane is good when your husband is across the ocean from you.

So in the next four days (I already subtracted today) there needs to be more of that . . . mundane.  Ben’s three month check up with the cardiologist is Monday.  I would be very happy with mundane.  In fact . . . that will be my prayer to God for  Monday.  More of the mundane.  I am trying not to be nervous about Monday, but it is not working. It is really not working.  I am close to teetering over the edge into instability with worry.   This doctor has never been able to give us a visit without bad news involved.  So here’s hoping that Monday will be the first one!

World is good.  I can confess that we have been out of milk for three days, but I managed to pick up some today.  Didn’t have time to buy more than that.  Now they won’t take my children away.

Too tired to write more. Must go to bed.  Two games and two parties to go to tomorrow.

Only five more days to go.

The beginning of all things bad.  It is bound to happen at some point.  Something always goes wrong when Chris goes out of town. So far . . .

1.  A bird flew down the chimney into the house.

2.  The sliding door on my minivan broke.

3.  The kitchen light is on the fritz. (Ben told me that it upset his stomach this morning because of all of the blinking going on.)

Good news . . .

1.  Rosie chased the bird back up the chimney.  It is about time she proved her worth.  At least I think she did.  Heard the bird come down.  Called my Dad.  He said to stick my head up the chimney and close the damper.  Are you kidding me??!!  No way.  When I got back there, the bird flew out of the chimney (very creepy). I went to the garage to get something to get it with (not sure what I was looking for. but the pounding in my heart had to stop before I could do anything.).  When I got back, I couldn’t find it again.  No feather anywhere, but Rosie was staring at the chimney as if her life depended on it (it did.).

2.  I googled my door problem.  Found out the problem.  Fixed the problem myself!  (It was a fuse.)  The world  is good with my door again.  Didn’t even have to call my dad on that one.

3.  The kitchen light has been on the fritz for a few days.  I can’t get the cover off to fix the problem.  My dear neighbor came over to help and he can’t get the cover off.  But guess what . . . if you turn off the kitchen light it doesn’t blink anymore!!!  Problem solved.

Chris called tonight and he was impressed with my abilities so far.  Yea.  He may just leave us at home by ourselves more often!  (Please don’t.)  He is feeling liberated. (The week is not over yet.  Don’t count your chicken before they hatch. Don’t put all of your eggs in one basket. Etc. Etc. Need I say more?)

Only six more days to go . . .

Sleep was exactly what I needed.  Same for the children.  Ben is already up and dressed.  Madie is singing while she brushes her hair.  And Ainsley  just yelled down the stairs that she found some Princess underwear in drawer and then she said, “Yah hoooo!”  The morning is good.  Time for a cup of coffee before we head out to school.  The perfect way to start a day.

It is 10:40pm and it is time to go to bed.  Long day of nothing on the schedule but still so much to do.  I think my lack of sleep is catching up to me.  My brain is only working at half speed.  I actually got to talk to Chris.  He sounds good and happy.  Excited about being where he is at.  Awesome.

I fear that we may be coming to the end of goodness in my children.  We are eating dinner and someone hadn’t done her homework (like I asked), someone hadn’t washed her hands (like I asked), and someone sat there quietly hoping I wouldn’t ask him anything.  Tears followed. (It wasn’t the beginning of tears that evening and unfortunately it wouldn’t be the end.) I sent them all upstairs to follow up on everything I had asked them to do earlier (especially the nasty dirty hands.  Gross!).  I stepped outside and called my mom.  Just the medicine I needed.  A good conversation while sitting outside in the beautiful evening weather.  The quiet peace didn’t last very long.  But I managed to put everyone to bed without too much drama.  Now it is my turn.  I really wanted to stay up tonight and try to finish all of my computer work this evening, but my computer is NOT cooperating with me.  I am accepting this as divine intervention.  The world, and my computer, is telling me to go to bed.  I will try to finish tomorrow.

You know that it is time to go to bed when you have desperately tried to caffeinated this evening by drinking large amount of dt. coke and coffee (not at the same time!) and you could still fall asleep while sitting upright and typing on the computer (I could seriously type this entire entry with my eyes clothes and I think that it would be ok.  I am that tired.) Time to listen to my brain and the computer (and my problems are not because it is a mac.  It is the PC world that I am trying to work with.) and go to bed.  Good night.

Ben climbs into the car after I pick him up after school and says . . .

“Mom, my enemies (a.k.a the girls) think that I like them. But I don’t.  I just laughed at their jokes and now they think I like them.  UGHHHH!”

Oh, boy. This is only the beginning.  Poor Ben.  He sure is adorable!