The Puddles

After my second trip to the pediatrician’s office in just as many days to pick more testing supplies for Ainsley, I decided to stop and grab some more caffeine at my nearest fast food restaurant.  I watched several families biking together, eating together, and on my way home I saw a mom and her kids jumping rope and another group of people canoeing.  A tinge of jealousy cropped into my head.  I would like to be outside with my family enjoying this beautiful weather.  My kids are in good hands with Papa and Grandma Lake this week and having a fabulous time, but it would be great to spend time with my family this week.  It is a very egocentric request.  I recognize that this is all about me.  That I want to have fun with my family too.  Because trust me . . . my kids are having a good time right now with Papa and Grandma.  If they were home right now, they would not be having nearly so much fun and I would still be sitting in my office trying to get through my entire list of obligations.

There are days that I feel like I have too many people counting on me.  So many . . .that my own being is lost in the mess.  Right now there is just too much stuff that I feel responsible for.  I am saying no to things, but I need to not just say no to the new stuff but quit some of the stuff I have already said yes too.  I already have quit the things that I personally take enjoyment in.  I know that one day I will get to them again when the kids are older.  But so often I say yes to things because no one else will say yes to it and it needs to get done.  Whether that is family, church, school, scouts or whatever else.  There are so many things that people just take for granted that will get done by someone, and it feels like so often that someone is me.   Why do others not feel that sense of responsibility to family and community?  I’ve heard people tote the line that they are busy and do so much.  But trust me  . . . they could do so much more.  Or I hear people say . . . I don’t have kids, let someone with kids do it.  Or I hear . . . I’ve done my time.  Or no one has asked me yet.  Are you serious?

I know that I am not the only one stepping up to the plate and doing his/her part.   But there are far too few of us and there is just too much to do and accomplish.  It is a really lonely feeling sometimes when I sit back and hear someone ask for volunteers and it is like that scene from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” when the teacher is sitting there asking “Bueller? Bueller?” over and over with only silence as an answer.  Come on, people!

I understand that people have other obligations.  I’ve been there. When the kids were babies, I couldn’t do much outside my house. But I was great inside my house.  I found those things that I could help others but just did them from inside my home.  I’ve  also been there when I’ve had to completely shut out the world around me in order to take care of my family.  There will be times when you have to hunker down and take care of your own.  But I think people underestimate themselves and what they can do all the time.

So I will learn to say “no” more, if others will just learn to say “yes”.  Do you think it will happen?