In general we have the best neighbors. Lovely, wonderful, quiet people.
One of my neighbors who lives a few houses away has decided to start parking on our lawn. We are accommodating people, but this has been going on for over a month. So after consulting Chris, he was ok with me going and talking to them nicely about not parking there. The grass has always struggled there and now it looks really bad. So parking on it doesn’t help. And by the way . . . they don’t park in their own yard because they just put new grass in and don’t park on anyone else’s yard but ours.
I thought (my first mistake) that the worst that could happen was some uncomfortable feelings while we talked about it. Boy could I have been more wrong?
As soon as I asked, the 70 year old mother started in on me. When I started apologizing for even asking, she yelled for her daughter to move her car and then shut the door. I realized this wasn’t a good situation so I started walking home regretting my decision. So the first daughter comes walking out and starts in on me. Yelling at me for being inconsiderate and rude. Called me a liar and a horrible neighbor after living there for only nine months and had never had the decency to go over and introduce myself to them. I turned around (second mistake) and told her that I had lived there for three years and had never seen her before and how dare she call me a liar. I asked her why she was doing this to me. She said she had a right to park any where she wanted to and that she was parking on public property. By this time, the second daughter comes out of the house and is walking up to me yelling at me. She continues the accusations. Then another daughter comes walking out screaming. So four grown woman are standing in the street with three of them screaming at the other while one stands in shock. I can’t believe this is happening. I’ve never had a neighbor do this. Let alone an entire house full of adults doing it.
The end result was two of the daughters asking for a do-over and introducing themselves to me so that we could start properly. I was rattled. I went home, called Chris and cried. What kind of people do this to others? I am always shocked and amazed by humanity.
After spending and hour with kindergarteners that afternoon, I realized that I needed to make amends with my neighbors. I can’t make them change their ways, but I can change mine. Since (according to them) this all stemmed from us being poor and rude neighbors, I should go over and try to be better.
So after school, the kids and I took some of our prized Thin Mints, wrapped them with a ribbon, and headed over. The neighbors just happen to be in their driveway, but as soon as they saw us coming they headed inside. We at least caught the father before he got inside. I greeted him and told him that after this morning I wanted to start over and do better. I introduced myself and the children. He, of course, didn’t offer his name but wanted to start in on me about how I was rude to him over the years (the problem is that they have been keeping a checklist of my faults). Like not coming over and introducing myself. Geez. I told him that I wasn’t here to rehash the morning. I wanted to start over and that I didn’t realize how I was being a bad neighbor and wanted to do better. So after offering him the cookies, and redirecting our conversation away from my rudeness, I asked if we could speak to his wife. The wife was another repeat of the husband (rehashing the morning and my rudeness and then my attempting to redirect the conversation with apologies and a willingness to do better). I offered her the cookies and she refused them. When I told her that this was a gift to help start this relationship over, she finally took the cookies.
It ended well, but here is what I learned today.
1. All adults can revert to childish behavior easily.
2. Grass is not worth getting in a war with your neighbor over.
3. I can’t change anyone but myself.
My neighbors obviously don’t feel that they have done anything wrong (I heard at least a dozen times “we lived here for 34 years” and “my parents are exemplary neighbors”). So if I want this to work, I am the one who is going to have to put forth the effort. I don’t need them to be my best friend but a little peace in my world would be good.
The Puddles 
I’m sorry – it seems there is always someone who thinks the world revolves only around them and that everyone else should think accordingly. I have that problem with a certain someone, too.
I know for a fact that you are all good neighbors and friends. If you all still lived in Nebraska, I’d LOVE to have you as my neighbors 🙂
Hang in there!
If their house goes up for sale, I’ll let you know! We would love to have you as our neighbor. It backs up to a golf course, so it will feel like you have a giant field of green behind you even if your actual yard is the size of a postage stamp!
Anytime you want to be our neighbor come on down!
That is worse than our drunk neighbor from growing up. Sheesh.
The worst part is that they did this in front of your kids. Are they still parking in your lawn?
Not yet. The kids and I waved yesterday and . . . nothing. Cold stares.
I’m waiting for them to walk across the street and water my car! It would remind me of the good ol’ days.
Chris has not gone over yet to say hello. He’s waiting until he’s calm enough to walk over as a pastor and not my husband.
Good. Kill them with kindness.
Oh and if the’ve lived there for that long where were they when you moved in?