I’ve had this nervous energy for a couple of days. I was so tired (only averaging about 4 hours of sleep a night) that my head was too cloudy to really think about why I felt this way. So I crashed last night (knew I needed to go to bed when I couldn’t add/subtract properly, read, or even remember the names of items . . . like milk), and woke up thinking more clearly. This was good. For several days, I have that kind of “hyper focus” energy. It is helping me to get stuff done, but making me snippy in the process. I feel bad about that. Then the phone call came this morning reminding me that Ben has a doctor’s appointment on Monday. Ugh. This is reason for my angst. Ben has his six months checkup at Texas Children’s Hospital. These visits can go one of two ways. 1. Awesome – everything is status quo + we see the doctor again in six months = six more months of freedom from bad health stuff. 2. Not good – things aren’t going well + we need to see you again soon = unwanted health drama.
I dread these visits. I am surprised how I only started thinking about this visit this week. I think that I getting more use to it. But a parent really does have to gear themselves up for this kind of visit. Even the strongest parent has to do some personal prep in order to be as strong as the Rock of Gibraltar. I pray for good news and prepare for bad. Seems like that is pessimistic and wrong but I promise that I am optimistic and I really do think that we will hear that Ben is fine.
So we have a busy weekend to keep us occupied. We are cleaning tonight. Art classes in the morning. Science convention in the afternoon. Then church and Super Bowl Party/Small Group Bible Study on Sunday. Daddy is gone tonight and tomorrow for a church council retreat, but we will have fun without him. And some time in between I need to spend a lot of time in my office . . . working on work. Hopefully I will get it all done. But working towards that goal of getting it all done will keep my mind for what may come on Monday.
The Puddles 
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