The Puddles

This is Ainsley, but it looks just like Madie at this age. Of course, this is the slide that Madie broke her front tooth on when she was two (and Daddy took her to the park).

Our last day in Geneva was spent at the park with the Janings and then we went to a firefly catching party. It was awesome!

Swimming at the City Pool

Someone does not want to go home.

Lonnie is getting all of the lines set up

Ben is digging for a worm. Yuck.

Bob turned this old grain storage bin until a beautiful gazebo wired with electricity. We weren't there long enough or I'm sure Chris would have helped him get wi-fi to it. Then it would have been perfect.

Now Lonnie is helping Madie get set up to fish.

Triumphant Ben!

Now it is Daddy's turn to fish with the kids

Chris getting some more excellent advice from Bob.

Sunset on Merriweather Park

After swimming all afternoon we went to Merriweather Park.  It is our favorite place in Geneva.  It is so beautiful and peaceful.  Some of the kids favorite memories are from here.  Mr. Bob is a retired farmer who developed the entire park by himself. The pond, the buildings, the landscaping.  The kids ended the evening swimming in a horse tank that Mr. Bob had heated up himself and then we watched the moonrise.  Perfect.

Night Swimming at Uncle Larry and Aunt Thea’s house.  The kids thought it was perfect.  I think Daddy did too.  Best way ever to end a long day of driving (especially when driving through Dallas).

moved back home. After much consultation and additional drama.  I fear Madie as “the teenager.”  I’m not ready. Seriously. If yesterday was any indication, I am in for a long haul.  I need to learn to meditate. Or get a prescription for anxiety medicine.  Something. Anyone know of a good convent?

my mom calls to check up on me because she hasn’t heard from me in a while.  I generally call several times a week.  When she called today, I actually had to think about when I called her last.  And I honestly could not remember when.  Bad daughter! Very bad daughter!!!  I am sure that Debra and Will have risen to the “favorite child” status with my neglect this week.  Oh well.

It is getting worse . . .

While writing this blog entry, Madie comes stomping down the stairs with a suitcase and sleeping bag in her hand and tells me that she is moving out.  I bid her “adiou.” I guess I better go figure out what is going on.  Just one more thing to add to my long list of stress this week.

“This is the best birthday party EVER!” declares Madie to her friends as they chow down on ice cream during her slumber party tonight.

It has been a rough couple of days from my brain.  For whatever reason, I have had a hard time wrapping my head around this new issue with Ben.  Perhaps it is because I have yet to let myself really cry about it.  I understand that this is not terrible compared to his earlier issue.  But please  . . . I don’t want to compare it.  I don’t want him to HAVE the issue to begin with!  Little boys shouldn’t be worried about blood pressure and salt intake and medication to keep his heart in working order.  And until I get a long moment without the children, I won’t have that moment to grieve for his loss of normalcy.

That thought has consumed me for the last few days.  All I really wanted to do was crawl into a corner and cry, but . . . then there was Madie.

Madie has a slumber party tonight. Her 8 1/2 year old birthday party. She is so excited. She has been planning it for a week.  Making lists. Creating games. Putting together a schedule.  So last night  after an evening of bowling, Madie begged me that I let her go shopping with me for her party.  She never asks to go shopping with me. NEVER. Especially to Walmart. So I said yes. Madie grabbed her notebook with her party plan in it and jumped in the car.  We had so much fun. She got to pick all of the stuff for her party.  She didn’t complain at all when we had to pick out other stuff for the house.  She just kept to her list and checking things off to make sure that everything for her party was taken care of.  Her eyes were so blood shot at 10:45pm when we were checking out.  Poor girl.  But there was this huge smile on her face.  She told the cashier about her party. She told the girl at McDonald’s (she needed a little sugar to continue the shopping journey) about her party.  I love that girl. It was such a joy to hang with her last night.  She reminded me of the joys of life.  Family and taking in the good moments when they come and stocking that feeling of love and joy away for a rainy day when life is not going so well.

I wanted my story and Ben’s story and our family’s story to go so differently.  But it is what it is. I am slowly adapting to the recent plot twist.  It is hard for me to accept change.  Chris says it takes me about six months to adjust to a major life change.  I don’t know about that.  It will take me awhile. But I’ll get there.

Chris called the cardiologist today to get the results of Ben’s testing.   The reason for this testing was to answer the question: Why is Ben’s blood pressure (B/P) so high after his last surgery? We still have more questions than answers but this is what we learned . . .

The flow to the kidneys is high (it is suppose to be around 70 and Ben’s is around 400). The doctor said that this may be caused by any number of issues including obstruction in the descending aorta.    Usually in these circumstances, the patient would go back to the clinic for an ultrasound of the aorta, Dr. Altman is “tired of all these tests” and chosen to be more aggressive and find out what is going on with Ben’s B/P.  She has scheduled a  cardiac MRI on Sept. 9 at Texas Children’s Hospital which will take a picture of his entire cardiovascular system.   This will help eliminate or answer the questions for the  doctor if Ben’s B/P is a “plumbing problem”  or if it is something else.
All of this is very distracting and hard on us as parents right now.  6 years ago we never thought we would live a life where we go day to day wondering about the safety of our child because of some cardiac issue.  Days like today don’t help.

We do not know  . .
*  what happens if there is an obstruction although our best guess is that we will fix it.
*  what happens if there are no obstructions
*  why Ben has any of these problems to begin with (don’t ask cause we don’t know either)

Ben and the rest of our children DO NOT know about any of this.  Our plan is to inform Ben prior to the MRI  but he will be sedated for this which means a possible IV and Ben has strong feelings about needles.  So hear us out on this one.  Don’t ask Chris or I about this at church.  Call us on the phone if you want to know more but public conversation is not helpful at this point.    We ask for your continued prayers for Ben. He is such an awesome boy who cleans his room sometimes, plays with transformers like a wild genesis, and makes his sisters mad but does not deserve any of this, but must go through it.
Katherine and Chris Lake