The Puddles

After my second trip to the pediatrician’s office in just as many days to pick more testing supplies for Ainsley, I decided to stop and grab some more caffeine at my nearest fast food restaurant.  I watched several families biking together, eating together, and on my way home I saw a mom and her kids jumping rope and another group of people canoeing.  A tinge of jealousy cropped into my head.  I would like to be outside with my family enjoying this beautiful weather.  My kids are in good hands with Papa and Grandma Lake this week and having a fabulous time, but it would be great to spend time with my family this week.  It is a very egocentric request.  I recognize that this is all about me.  That I want to have fun with my family too.  Because trust me . . . my kids are having a good time right now with Papa and Grandma.  If they were home right now, they would not be having nearly so much fun and I would still be sitting in my office trying to get through my entire list of obligations.

There are days that I feel like I have too many people counting on me.  So many . . .that my own being is lost in the mess.  Right now there is just too much stuff that I feel responsible for.  I am saying no to things, but I need to not just say no to the new stuff but quit some of the stuff I have already said yes too.  I already have quit the things that I personally take enjoyment in.  I know that one day I will get to them again when the kids are older.  But so often I say yes to things because no one else will say yes to it and it needs to get done.  Whether that is family, church, school, scouts or whatever else.  There are so many things that people just take for granted that will get done by someone, and it feels like so often that someone is me.   Why do others not feel that sense of responsibility to family and community?  I’ve heard people tote the line that they are busy and do so much.  But trust me  . . . they could do so much more.  Or I hear people say . . . I don’t have kids, let someone with kids do it.  Or I hear . . . I’ve done my time.  Or no one has asked me yet.  Are you serious?

I know that I am not the only one stepping up to the plate and doing his/her part.   But there are far too few of us and there is just too much to do and accomplish.  It is a really lonely feeling sometimes when I sit back and hear someone ask for volunteers and it is like that scene from “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” when the teacher is sitting there asking “Bueller? Bueller?” over and over with only silence as an answer.  Come on, people!

I understand that people have other obligations.  I’ve been there. When the kids were babies, I couldn’t do much outside my house. But I was great inside my house.  I found those things that I could help others but just did them from inside my home.  I’ve  also been there when I’ve had to completely shut out the world around me in order to take care of my family.  There will be times when you have to hunker down and take care of your own.  But I think people underestimate themselves and what they can do all the time.

So I will learn to say “no” more, if others will just learn to say “yes”.  Do you think it will happen?

“My goal for Spring Break is wake up every morning at 6:00am and watch the sun rise. Then I’m going to watch the sun rise and sun set every day this week and write about it every day. At the end, I am going to take all of my stories and write a book (but only a small one),” declares Madie.

Safe tv that is.  No commercials. Kid-friendly shows.  Good values. The kind of shows that I don’t have to sit and watch with my kids while it’s on.  Wrong. Wrong Wrong Wrong.

Three nights in a row Ainsley insists that I check her room for snakes.  Apparently an episode from “Suite Life . . . ” about snakes on the boat has Ainsley with a huge fear of snakes in her room, bathroom, hallway, closet, ceiling fan, etc.  Ugh!!!!

Now Ben comes to me and tells me that the main characters on the new tv show on Disney are calling each other “Losers.”  1.  At least he is telling me and we are talking about it.  2.  Could they just use another word? Or how about less sarcasm and more positive talk?

If I wasn’t so addicted to the noise of tv myself (I constantly have it on, but never watch it), I would ban it from the house.

Mark this week on my calendar as a week to not repeat.  We started the week with Ben at TCH all day and ended the week with Ainsley at the pediatrician’s office for four hours.  We initially took Ainsley for some itching issues and to ask whether her tummy pains were still from the salmonella poisoning that she had in December.  That last question lead to xrays, a blood draw, and another urine test.  The doctor isn’t really sure why Ainsley’s tummy still bothers her.  So now we are going back for another visit following a week of no fruit.  Are you kidding?  No fruit for a week?  I got home thinking. Hmmm. Maybe stomach pains aren’t a terribly bad thing.  But truthfully it isn’t fair to Ainsley.  It obviously bothers Ainsley enough that she complains frequently about them.  So I guess we do it.  I wish that was how our day ended.

So I took Ainsley back to school for a few hours.  Then I picked her up from school and was giving her a hug . . . it felt like I had just opened the oven door.  Heat radiated off of her body in waves.  I took her temp and yep . . . 104.  Why or why could you have not had this fever and symptoms this morning when we were at the doctor’s for so long?  They took her temp at the office and it was 98.6.   What a day.  What a day.  Let’s hope the weekend proves to be better.

We started the morning with an echo of Ben’s heart.  According to Dr. Altman, Ben’s aortic valve has increased its leaking.  It is still considered mild to moderate and there is not a reason to intervene surgically yet.  We go back in six months for another echo and visit with Dr. Altman.  She is going to meet with Dr. Feig, Ben’s nephrologist, to discuss weaning Ben off of some medicine.  We should have some of those answers in a month.  Lastly, the doctor told us that Ben has restrictions again this summer.  Her words, “He can be outside as long as he is in water.”  So Chris and I are trying to figure out how to apply that to Ben and yet still let him be a boy.  Baseball? Boy Scout Camp? Recess? PE? Church Camp? All very important things that Ben REALLY wants to do.  So we got to figure this out.  Soon enough.  Luckily it is not too hot right now.  It is downright gorgeous.  So no worries yet.

We followed our visit with another blood drawn with ice cream rewards and then went on home.  It’s been a long day.  So tired. We had good news and bad today.  But overall, very acceptable news that we can deal with.

As retold to me by his Sunday school teacher so I hope I got it right.

Ben and Ainsley were sharing stories in Sunday School.  Ben was sharing his story when Ainsley said, “Ben, are you telling the truth?”

“Ainsley, you know I have to add to my story to make it sound better.”

I don’t think I got the quote verbatim, but the point is still the same.  And if you know Ben . . . it is the absolute truth.  He truly has the gift of storytelling.

The weather has turned good.  The temps are nice. The winds are calm.  The bugs aren’t out yet.

Must be time to go camping.

So today 24 Girl Scouts (2nd/3rd graders) and their fearless leaders are taking them camping today for the first time.

I must be insane.

“A queen can’t wear a superhero cape,” declares Ben.

“They can too!  I can be a superhero queen if I want to be,” says Ainsley.

That is a great way to wake up on Saturday morning.  I knew that they kids were cooking up some kind of surprise last night.  I wasn’t sure of all of the details (it’s hard to listen in to a conversation in the back of the car when I’m driving down the interstate). So this morning I woke up early to discover that 2 of the 3 kids had crawled into bed with us last night.  That is certainly a nice feeling on a Saturday morning.  A while later Ainsley got up and told me to stay in bed, that they were going to make a surprise for us.  So we did.  An hour later the kids come upstairs with two trays of food (pb&J toast, milk, yogurt, sausage biscuits).  Ainsley gives me mine and says, “Sorry, mommy.  You only have part of the biscuit left.  Rosie ate the sausage and the other biscuit while we finished getting the other tray ready.”  (Reason 298 to kill the cat.)  But it was enjoyable to have all three crawl into bed with us while we ate breakfast together and watched some morning tv.

The kids have already done their chores for the weekend and are ready to go to the movies this afternoon.  We were going to go last night, but when I told Daddy he asked if we would wait until Saturday so he could come too.  So yesterday, we went to the park for an hour after school and went to Aunt Deb/Uncle . . . oh, forget it, we went to Gordon’s house.  The kids played hard with G, inserted loud chaos into the quiet Lewis house (they only have one kid you know), and then we got to get Gordon ready for bed.  All three kids read Gordon books.  Ainsley even insisted on picking out his clothes for tomorrow. I hope we wore him out!  I think we did.  When we left, Gordon didn’t have enough energy to blow us kisses (he just made noises with his lips).

So we are off to see a movie.  And then Mom and Dad can come home to get more work done.  I hope so anyway.  It has been a good day so far.  I just know it will continue.

In general, receiving a phone call from school is not good.  Getting a phone call from the school nurse always causes me dread.  I have learned to recognize the phone number from her direct line (yes, she has called that often.  But with three kids in school . . . ).  My first question to her is always, “What’s wrong?”

Today it was Ainsley’s turn.  She threw up in class.  To be honest, my first thought was . . . Poor Mrs. Sellars!  Not very motherly.  But I knew that Ainsley was in good hands and I know what it is like to have a child throw up in your classroom.  Gross.  I don’t mind dealing with my own child’s vomit, but someone else’s kid is not nearly so endearing.

So I immediately grabbed some clothes and headed up to school to pick up Miss A.  She threw up on everything including her Girl Scout uniform.  So we changed clothes in the bathroom and I headed home.  I spent the next part of the hour dealing with the ramifications of a sick kid.  1. Getting sick kid set up on the couch watching cartoons with her bucket close at hand. 2.  It was my turn to run the meeting for Scouts. So I had to call my beloved co-leader and get her to do it for me.  3.  I was suppose to get a set of keys from someone today and had to rearrange it so Chris could get them.  4.  Contact the school and ask them to tell Ben that Ainsley wouldn’t be on the bus. If he got on the bus without her, he would freak.  (I’ve trained them to be watch dogs for each other). 5.  Find a way for Madie to get picked up from choir practice after school and then fax a note to school.  6.  Cancel the babysitter for tonight, since I will be home with Ainsley.  7.  Call Chris and let him know that we have a kid down.

After all of that was accomplished there was this general feeling of ease because I was getting to stay home and not be anywhere for the rest of the day.  There is a positive side to this sick kid thing.  Except that there is a sick child.

By the way, Ainsley is fine.  She never ran a fever and she was rather happy today.  Of course, she did take a two hour nap this afternoon. That helped.  Ainsley is home again tomorrow (I will not be one of those parents who sends their child to school sick.  But then again, I have the luxury of my schedule to keep a kid home for 24 hours fever and/or vomit free).  So Ainsley gets a free pass.  She is hanging with Mom while Mom works.  It will be a good day for her.